Dear Colton,
Today you are three years old. I cannot believe how fast the past few years have gone by, so much has happened and yet you continue to make an impact on people with your story.
I woke up this morning thinking of you while I was getting ready to do my Saturday morning workout. It’s with some incredible people that have encouraged me over the past month and a half. After I was finished, I started to look out our back door and realize that you’re not here with us and cried with a smile.
I am excited to come to visit you later today with your Mom, Sister, Auntie, Grandma, and Grandpa.
Being a big brother /
It’s been interesting to think that you’ve been a big brother to your sister for almost a year and a half now. Your mom and I talk all the time about how we will share with Madison that she has an older brother who is in Heaven.
She wears some of your clothes and plays with some of your toys, allowing you to watch her interact with things that you didn’t get to experience at home.
Last year she came to visit you on your 2nd birthday which was super special for us. It was a time to reflect on you being a part of our family and continuing to remember the impact you’ve had on everyone.
I know that Madison loves you so much and cannot wait to learn more about you as she gets older.
Our Marriage /
When you were born, your Mom and I weren’t in the best place in our marriage. To be honest, we didn’t know how to be parents and there were a lot of issues that we still had to address and work through.
Even though we lost you during that time, we knew the Lord was bringing you home and had a plan and purpose for your Mom and I, we just didn’t see it yet.
The past year and a half have been some of the best times in our marriage. Growing us both together and individually. I’m thankful that your story has impacted us enough to realize and trust that we needed to work through things. We continue to learn what it’s like without you with us, and today is one of those days.
What’s it like to have you in our daily life? What would you be like at 3 years old? What kind of personality would you have? What things would your Mom had to have learned because you were her first “boy”?
Either way, you’ve been an inspiration and reason that our marriage has been strengthened and is the healthiest it’s ever been. Thank you for that gift and being a strong foundation in our family.
My heart has changed /
I was over the moon when we found out our first child was going to be a boy! I honestly didn’t want to have a girl, I wanted our first kid to be a guy to “ease” myself into being a parent. I thought that since I was a guy it would be much smoother of a transition of being a father. Your Mom was nervous about having a boy first since she only grew up with your Aunt Netty and didn’t have any brothers.
Well, that’s another thing that the Lord has completely turned upside down in my heart. When we found out that your sister was a girl, I was excited but didn’t know the first thing about being a Daddy to a little girl. It was something I struggled with for a long time and had a hard heart because we had lost you. I wanted my boy and my son.
Even though that’s what I desired, God works everything out for his glory and good. He used your story and experience with me to teach me that things won’t always go my way, but to trust in him with my whole heart. He started to change my heart and start to fall in love with loving your little sister even more than I could ever imagine. You know what? I wouldn’t change anything about the experience I have been through. I would do it all again in a second.
Colton, you’ve made me realize that being a father is an incredible action of love and responsibility. It’s allowed my heart to appreciate what my father your Grandpa, has sacrificed to be present and available throughout my life. I hope to be as good as a father he was, he is my hero and I know he loves you so much buddy.
Happy Birthday little man /
Today is a day that we get to celebrate you. Happy Birthday from your entire family and friends. We love you so much and miss you like crazy. Continue to watch over us as life moves forward and know that you are remembered.
Your story continues to inspire and impact people all the time. Thank you for being our son and a part of our family. We are so proud of you and know that you will always be our little man.
Love your one and only,
Daddy