Happy Birthday My Son

The Lord is near to the broken hearted and saves the crushed in spirit. 

Psalms 34:18

364 days, that’s how many days it’s already been since we knew you had already gone to heaven and we wouldn’t get to bring you home. Tomorrow you would have been 1 years old. Your mom and I still can’t believe how fast this past year has flown by and where we were at in life.

You have taught me a few things over those 12 months. You taught me how to love your mom better and unconditionally. You taught me how to learn what matters most in my life, my faith and serving other people. You taught me how to actually execute patience with intentionality instead of just “waiting” for things to happen. You taught me how to step up as a man and as a husband, to be a leader in our house. The list goes on.

Today, our pastor Gunner Gunderson, left me a voicemail with the verse above, Psalms 34:18. It talks about the Lord being near to those that have a broken heart and saving those that have been crushed in spirit. I am reminded of how my heart used to break thinking about you at different moments. How I learned to understand of whether my spirit was crushed or not and how to act with losing you and it’s been almost a year. However, that is not the case these days. I am encouraged my Gunner’s message and effort to let your mom and I know that we are loved by so many people, and so are you.

I choose to celebrate what you mean to me, and that is being my son. whether you are physically her or not, that cannot be taken away. Your presence in our life has changed it forever, setting a new course for our family that was meant to be. It meant that we were to wait, be patient, trust in God and truly have a peace about our lives. Today, there is without a doubt a complete peace in my heart about you, Colton. With certainty I miss you, love you, and overjoyed that you watch the chapters of our life progress.

This past Sunday your mom and I were able to visit you and bring you a new pinwheel, it’s blue. Enjoy it. I loved seeing the bunny your grandparents brought you over Easter weekend, that was very sweet of them to come say hi. They miss you very much.

Thank you for pushing me to be a better man and husband. I love you unconditionally and always will.

Your father,

Alex